It’s quite amazing how many times in a day I promise people that I will call them, keep in touch, meet them for a drink, or say “we really must get together.” When, in fact, it’s all B.S. I just feel good about assuaging my guilt or pretending to miss them, or whatever it is that is driving me to promise things I have no time or interest for!
Why? God, I don’t know. I guess I want to be in touch with the world. At the time, I really want to be with them and catch up on things, but I don’t want to use up my future time to make choices.
My best male friend and I used to spend at least four days a week when I was going through a post separation process. He was my rock. He was the reason I made it through. He is my main man. I know I can depend on him no matter what. Now, we see each other possibly once a month. We vow to make it more often and we don’t. However, I KNOW that if I ever need him he will be there.
The use of this rule to look more responsible is the “kiss of death.” Particularly, in the workplace. It’s amazing to watch people who want to be overloaded with responsibilities that they can’t live up to. When they can’t do what was promised, they point out how often they came through, how hard they worked, and missing a few promises isn’t that big a deal!
These are individuals who love overload! They live on it! They thrive on it! It’s what they live for. And when they occasionally come through, they want to be worshiped.I’m sorry, but I know the game. And many of you know the game also. In fact, you know someone who fits this profile perfectly. (You should refer them to this blog site. Or send them a download of the audio book.
The point is, this rule ultimately catches up with anyone who has this pattern. I once decided that I would pay close attention to what I promised and would not promise anything I did not want to do. It’s amazing how my life cleaned up. How stress-free I was. And most of all, how centered I felt. Recently I’ve gotten away from that level of honesty. It’s so out of the normal expectation, that began to feel something was wrong with me.
Well, I think you get the point about this rule. We probably all use to some extent!
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