Rule #7– It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

The example that immediately comes to mind are building contractors. I’ve been involved in building a cabin in the mountains for the last two years. When the plumber’s assistant drilled into a supporting beam, the structure was not passed by the building inspector. The owner of the plumbing company, to this day, does not claim responsibility for the incident. Notwithstanding, I had to pay $1300.O0 to repair the mistake with another supporting beam. My major plumber said to me, “these things happen. It’s not my fault, and I am certainly not paying you $1300.00!”

However, I had not paid him fully for the contracting work he had done. This is the ONLY card you have to play. However, it’s not quite that simple. I still needed him to finish the job. And, he had plenty of demand for his work. So, what did I do? This is where negotiation begins. Particularly, since this guy is the best around. I’m thinking, this is such B.S. I don’t need these games in my life. I need people who take responsibility for their screw-ups. But alas, not in the construction business.

By the way, this kind of screw-up was repeated by the painter, who refused to return to do final touch up as he promised. The most blatant form of irresponsibility is making promises and breaking them as easily as eating a hot dog. No integrity, no honesty, no sense of apology! That’s just the way it is! Only new competition will change this situation or less demand for building contractors.

Now for the Good, in the midst of the Bad and the Ugly. My electrician (Dan Collings), my log stacker (Larry Smith of Spanish Fork, Utah is the absolute best in the business and reliable), and the guy who has done my inside work, tirelessly. His name is Mike Sanford in Spanish Fork, Utah. So, if you want a reliable contractor who takes pride in what he does. These are the guys! Oh, I forgot to mention some of my other contractors, but one was so bad I will not say anything further.

In spite of the situation I have described, the individual who also emerged with outstanding marks, is the guy who drilled my well. He has roots in Mississippi (and I am Black), he is almost threatening, and he’s the best driller in Utah. My well stopped working and I called him to let him know I was against a wall with financing. He said he would check it out in the next few days; and he did!

In the process of testing the well motor, he burned the motor out. When he called he told me the truth and said he would not charge me for the burned out motor. I was astounded and pleased that I encountered a contractor who told the truth, kept his word, and worked until he repaired my well. (Water is precious in the mountains.) By the way his company is Miller Drilling out of Provo, Utah. He’s the absolute best!

What’s the point I’m trying to make. I’ve very rarely encountered a profession where the sequence of contractors who come in and do their work, often screw-up and claim no responsibility. In fact, quite often you have to make sure they’ve done the job right yourself or hire someone to do so. Like sheet rocking over electrical outlets, breaking light fixtures, painting over window screens, installing cabinets incorrectly, etc., and not really caring. If I ran my consulting business like some of the contractors I hired, on good advice, I wouldn’t have a business.

Well, I think you’ve got it! “It’s always someone else’s fault”

Rule #6–Promise Things You Have No Intention of Doing

It’s quite amazing how many times in a day I promise people that I will call them, keep in touch, meet them for a drink, or say “we really must get together.” When, in fact, it’s all B.S. I just feel good about assuaging my guilt or pretending to miss them, or whatever it is that is driving me to promise things I have no time or interest for!

Why? God, I don’t know. I guess I want to be in touch with the world. At the time, I really want to be with them and catch up on things, but I don’t want to use up my future time to make choices.

My best male friend and I used to spend at least four days a week when I was going through a post separation process. He was my rock. He was the reason I made it through. He is my main man. I know I can depend on him no matter what. Now, we see each other possibly once a month. We vow to make it more often and we don’t. However, I KNOW that if I ever need him he will be there.

The use of this rule to look more responsible is the “kiss of death.” Particularly, in the workplace. It’s amazing to watch people who want to be overloaded with responsibilities that they can’t live up to. When they can’t do what was promised, they point out how often they came through, how hard they worked, and missing a few promises isn’t that big a deal!

These are individuals who love overload! They live on it! They thrive on it! It’s what they live for. And when they occasionally come through, they want to be worshiped.I’m sorry, but I know the game. And many of you know the game also. In fact, you know someone who fits this profile perfectly. (You should refer them to this blog site. Or send them a download of the audio book.

The point is, this rule ultimately catches up with anyone who has this pattern. I once decided that I would pay close attention to what I promised and would not promise anything I did not want to do. It’s amazing how my life cleaned up. How stress-free I was. And most of all, how centered I felt. Recently I’ve gotten away from that level of honesty. It’s so out of the normal expectation, that began to feel something was wrong with me.

Well, I think you get the point about this rule. We probably all use to some extent!

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