To a very dear friend, who passed on Thursday morning…

Heaven

Friday, January 20, 2006

I’ve had a conversation with a wise one

Across the great divide,

Within a place of bliss and celebration

And lightness of space and mind.

For when the wise ones head on their way

Their voice still rings within…

In that of the heart’s whisper… if you listen quiet and true

In the unexpected connection… blessed within a smile

In the sharing of a warm embrace… bound within her love.

Never have I known a life

Governed by such an ocean of love

Given without hesitation

In drop or drizzle or storm.

Rarely have I touched in person

A bounty of heaven not left behind,

Save for looking now in us

As this wise one has returned back home.

Listen closely and you will know her peace and joy.

Look around and you will know her love.

Grasp a hand, it’s now our turn.

It is this, my friends, that is heaven.

Since the beginning of our support group the ultimate objective has been to create a mind-set of self-sufficiency. At the last meeting we discussed the following exercise to drive this point home. You might use it either personally or with a group discussion. Have fun!

The Vacation of a Lifetime

Randall LaForche and his family were on a vacation when their home was demolished by a violent storm. When they returned, they were promised payment from their insurance company. They were told it would take some time to clear the paper work. In the meantime, they lived with relatives. As time passed, Randall complained and got angry at the insurance company. He did not secure a job because he was waiting for the money from the insurance company. His wife, Clara, didn’t seek a job either since Randall told her everything would be fine. When his relatives asked Randall and his family to leave, the insurance company placed them in temporary housing.

1) The insurance company was responsible for Randall not getting a job.
Agree_____ Disagree_____

2) Randall was responsible and accountable for his family having to live in
temporary housing. Agree_____ Disagree ______

3) Clara bears no responsibility since Randall promised her that everything would
be fine. Agree_______ Disagree _______

4) Randall’s relatives were responsible for his family having to live in
temporary housing. Agree ______ Disagree ______

Personal responsibility is the willingness to view yourself as the principal source of whatever happens in your life.

Personal accountability is the willingness to claim ownership for whatever happens in your life.

Personal empowerment is the willingness to take control of your life.

Although there are no wrong or right answers, there are consequences related to your choices. Your choices either create an empowered individual or one who is dependent on something or someone to make your life work. Try using this exercise with your support group or friends. As usual, I would love your feedback.

Bill

I’ve previously refered to spirituality as that which comes from within. It is a way of being that transcends the mind. It is not a belief system and yet it compatibly embraces all belief systems that are uplifting to the human spirit. It is an inherent part of all that exists, though often not realized or expressed.

The expression of that which is natural and comes without effort is usually sourced from one’s inner self. The expression itself are skills, knowledge, and competencies unique to each of us. For example, I have a friend who started out as a scientist with a brilliant career in front of him. He was driven to excel in whatever he pursued having to do with his success as a scientist. Then, all of a sudden personal tragedy occurred with respect to his family. He became disoriented and disillusioned about what he was doing with his life. The questions of meaning and purpose started to emerge in his consciousness. Prior to the tragedy, his purpose and meaning were apparently clear, but not driven from from that inner space I refer to as spiritual. His prior driving force was ego-focused and personally-gratifying for success. (Such a force is normal for most of us, particularly, in our youth.)

Out of his disorientation came clarity about what he wanted to do with his life. The first word that came to him was service. It was no longer about him and his personal needs, but about how his life activities affected others. The second word was compassion. The understanding and acceptance of how others choose to fashion their lives; and if appropriate, how might his interaction with them bring greater clarity and understanding of themselves. The third word was transformation. The active participation in influencing others to experience an expanded dimension of themselves.

Without prescribing what is best for others, he discovered the emergence of natural compatible relationships. This fundamental shift, as he describes it, is from a survival-driven way of viewing the world to viewing differences as the “human puzzle” that, when solved, results in peace, prosperity, and unity. So, his spiritually-driven purpose became the achievement of that condition.

Now the second piece of the spiritual way was to examine what his natural talents for expression were. He rather quickly surmised, from his life as a scientist, that his special talents were conceptualizing new ideas, writing, and speaking to public audiences. My friend moved to Europe about five years ago and is successfully living his dream. He is one of my most profound teachers.

So, how might you explore your spiritual way, if you haven’t done so already?

1) Ask your self, “What is the major belief structure that I feel a desperate need to hold on to or my life or who I am will seem invalid?” (This is very, very difficult to do!) It is, however, the essential breakthrough step! Take several days or even weeks if necessary to explore this question. Keep in mind truth can never be invalidated by exploration and answers from within yourself!

2) Initiate communication with your small inner voice, below the sounds of the outer ear, that comes to you in moments of centeredness, relaxation, or conscious unawareness. You will know that voice because of its intuitive surety, detachment, and wisdom beyond yourself. You will feel empathy, compassion, humility, and love. Confirm that these qualities accompany your inner voice.

3) Be open and receptive to your “calling.” You might take several weeks for this process unless you have an immediate, overwhelming feeling of self-discovery. Your unique expression in the world will probably be in service to others; to bring about greater understanding, wisdom, and learning among us all. Examine your calling to discover if it is self-serving or serving others.

4) Match your calling with your competencies, talents, and skills regardless of how these have been used in your life to the present time. They are tools for the delivery of your calling in human form.

5) And lastly, select your “customer-base.” Who is the forum for your calling and your unique tools for delivery? Examples include students, ethnic/cultural groups, women, men, political groups, legal forums, etc, etc, etc, the world!

That’s it! I look forward to your feedback that might bring greater insight about the spiritual way, since I am clear that no one person “sees” or “knows” it all. But together, we are powerful beyond description!

Thanks,
Bill

Notice the improved and new audio downloads. Coming soon: a new audio book for children titled, “Rodney.” It describes the life of a young boy growing up in Kansas City, Missouri, trying to deal with the learning experiences of life. It is intended for parent-children conversations as each chapter unfolds. It will be a free download for the first month.

Be sure to check out the two new free downloads”

“Spirituality in the Workplace” interview between Bill Guillory and Judd Bagley

“The new shortened version of “Animal Kingdom” while it is free!

NEW this week: An “Animal Kingdom” audio download interview between Bill Guillory and Sue Kwon from San Francisco

Spirituality and the Workplace Retreat at Snowbird, Utah May 19-21.
Register through the Innovations link.

An invitation to Guest Bloggers if you have somenthing to say!

Dying Spiritually

A big debate on the talk shows this week has focused on the Supreme Court’s ruling regarding assisted suicide in Oregon. The court upheld Oregon’s law allowing doctors to prescribe medication with the sole purpose of ending a terminally ill patient’s life.

My personal opinion on the subject is that an individual should have the right to make his or her own decision on whether they should prolong their life or not when faced with a few more months on this earth. But I also think we all need some good, unbiased guidance to help us if we find ourselves faced with such a decision. This might be a good topic for Dr. Guillory to explore.

Here’s my experience with a terminally ill loved one. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2000 and the doctor said she had three months to live. After a few weeks of shock, we went to work finding a different doctor. We found a doctor at the Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City, Utah and as we owned a home in Salt Lake, my mom moved up there immediately.

The doctor operated successfully and told my mom her life would be extended about 5 years. Almost 5 years to the date of her operation, the cancer came back and this time there was nothing the doctors could do. During those 5 years, my mom was in relatively good health and she was able to accomplish many things she wanted to do before passing on to the next stage of her life.

The operation she underwent in 2000 was excruciatingly painful and there were no guarantees it would be successful. But my mom had the courage to go through with it. Living with a five-year “deadline” was mentally draining on her at times, but my mom had the courage to live those five years well. The final two months of her life were probably the hardest for her. She was in constant pain, but she had the courage to let nature take its course.

Those last two months were a blessing on the entire family. I remember one Saturday morning going to her house and sitting beside her for hours, not doing anything in particular, but just being with her; something I had never done as an adult. Each of my siblings had similar moments with her.

My mother taught me courage in the face of dying. One of the last things she said to me was, “I tried hard to fight, but I can’t fight anymore. Is it okay?” Those words, more than anything else, told me how hard it was for her to keep going on despite having no hope of a recovery. She fought so hard for us, to show us how to have courage.

So again, my personal opinion is that the individual should make his or her own decision regarding their life when faced with a terminal disease. But it would be my hope that each individual could make his or her own decision in tune with their personal spirituality. For my mother, showing her kids courage and fighting to the end was more important to her than ending her life early. And I respect and love her for her example to us.

I recently looked at the tape of Bill Moyers interviewing Joseph Campbell, It focused on the “The Hero’s Journey.” The basic steps of this journey are first, encountering a challenge by choice or being thrown into one. (Encounter) The second step is engaging the challenge to change something about the condition or the world. (Engagement) The third step is enlightenment and wisdom. (Enlightenment and Wisdom)

I know this is Martin Luther King’s month. We honor him as a hero for all of us. Because the changes he catalyzed created unlimited opportunities for women of all races/ethnicities, people of all cultures, and anyone in the category of being or feeling disadvantaged. I like to think that King chose to play on a bigger “game board” than most of us. However, that does not diminish in any capacity the daily and life-long efforts of “everyday heros” who choose “smaller boards” with less risk to their lives. They are equally heros in the description given by Joseph Campbell.

A life-long friend of mine is James Perkins of Jackson, Mississippi. He has dedicated his life to the education of students, primarily African American at Jackson State University as well as other Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs). I am using Jim to symbolize thousands of others, of all races, ethnicities, and cultures, who have also made similar commitments. They are, in my opinion, equally valiant heros. And I want to acknowledge them.

Most of all, I recognize their effort as a spiritual calling. It is comprised of excitment, frustration, elation, satisfaction, contribution, and love. Love coming at the conclusion of ushering their successful product into the mainstream of society. Jim has been particularly successful in acquiring the financial resources to provide opportunities for literally thousands of students. He gets on more airplanes than me, which is a Herculian effort. He works tirelessly everyday, in spite of the fact that he is not 35 years old anymore. He will not take “no” for an answer for acquiring resources in behalf of students. He always finds a way.

As is true for all the “everday heros” Jim symbolizes, the third step in Joseph Campbell’s journey is the inner transformation that occurs simultaneouly with “changing the world,” “making a difference,” or “influencing the growth of others.” The real difference that has been made that we really control is the transformation within ourselves. Thus, enlightenment!

Now we are truly ready to change the world by exerting the least amount of effort and the maximum amount of wisdom. Thanks Jim and all the thousands of heros you represent at traditionally HBCUs, both past and present. You truly represent King’s Dream. After all, King was a product of that dream! (Morehouse College)

A free download audio podcast of an interview between Bill Guillory and Judd Bagley on the subject of “Spirituality in the Workplace.”

The blog below is contributed by Darnell Burrows. It illustrates how we commonly get messages of spiritual inspiration that transform our lives. I’m sure you’ll be touched by her message. Bill Guillory

I couldn’t sleep with all the tossing and turning. I knew the Lord had something to say. This is how it usually happens when He specifically wants to get my attention as to hear Him or write down what He says. It’s very important to understand what His Love means.

He says,”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last FOREVER. There are three things that will endure- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is Love.”

This past Friday, we had a most informative support group meeting. We had three guests. One was from the state government to explain, as best he could, the changing rules of FEMA regarding the continued support of displaced citizens. He was also there to provide initial support when most were originally given housing, food allowances, and public transportation passes. He was very, very understanding and compassionate to everyone there. He also made it clear that the state of Utah was not going to allow anyone to be thrown out on the streets.

However, he did make some very important points for anyone who is displaced anywhere in the U.S.

1) Unless you assume an attitude of self-determination and self-empowerment, your situation will only worsen.

2) The state and federal governments will progressively begin withdrawing and/or making it more difficult to receive continuing financial support.

3) Complaining about FEMA has run its course, although there are some guidelines he suggested if you have received nothing so far: have patience; telephone regularly; begin assuming responsibility for your present rental agreement, whether goverment supported or your own resources; and, begin adapting to your present environment.

4) Most of all, you must acquire employment. Ultimately, there will be no help coming. Don’t wait for a crisis to take action in your own behalf.

The second set of speakers was from the Salt Lake Community College (SLCC) Skills Center. They provided incredibly helpful information and steps for acquiring employment.

1) SLCC Skills Center requires no degrees and credentials for enrollment into their program.

2) They offer a variety of skills training for immediately acquiring a job. All the way from computer repair to construction to healthcare to office clerk to accounting. All “hands-on ” stuff.

3) There are a variety of support resources (enrollment tuition) that makes it possible for anyone who is seriously looking for work to acquire or improve their skills.

4) High demand jobs offer immediate employment, such as construction, bricklayers, healthcare specialists, welding, air conditioning and heating technologist, and construction environmental technologists.

They made it absolutey clear that anyone who desired to be in their program, could do so. I came away being convinced that anyone interested in employment had a clear route to learn the skills necessary to acquire a job.

In summary, promises have not been kept by the federal bureaucy and expenses have been absorbed by many state agencies (particularly, here in Utah) who will not be fully reimbursed. If we continue to depend on federal efficiency in meeting our needs, we will be sadly disappointed. What then is the only viable alternative?

Self-determination, self-empowerment, self-responsibility, and self-motivation, individually and collectively! Actually, this attitude goes way beyond the displaced citizens and applies to any one or group who feels disempowered and victimized. Like a friend once told me: “If you’re in a deep hole and expect help, someone will drop you a short rope!”

As the Martin Luther King Holiday approaches, I was trying to put in perspective what it might mean for most of us. In retrospect, most people speak of his Dream — supposedly for “racial equality” and the freedoms and opportunities that come along with that concept. First, I don’t believe anyone can bestow equality upon another. Equality, or more precisely a love and acceptance of self, comes from within. However, this sense of equality is manifested by the way we live our lives.

Although equality is inherent within each of us, living consistent with that inherent quality requires us to take responsibility for the conditions and circumstances in our lives — whether fair or unfair. That was, in my opinion, what the Civil Rights Movement was principally about. In that case, taking non-violent action to transform the conditions resulting from prejudice and discrimination that existed then and still do in the U.S. Admittedly, today, under much less stringent conditions.

Another term associated with the Civil Rights Movement of the 60′s is freedom. Again, freedom originates within each of us and is measured by the ingenuity we bring to our goals and aspirations in life. In making freedom a reality, we first have to acknowledge that different races, cultures and ethnicities do not have “equal” barriers (or challenges) for success.

For example, I do not expect others to respond to me as a Caucasian male — because I am not. In my quest to be successful, I tend to view inequalities as differences, rather than conditions that create impossibilities for me. The instant I non-reactively acknowledge that reality, I am self-empowered to change it or at least seek alternatives for success. When we inevitably experience preconceived notions that attepnt to disempower us, freedom, in action, is the willingness (not ability) to seek alternative means for success; rather than being frustrated by mainstream approaches which were not created for non-mainstream individuals!

I hope by this time it is clear that this blog is not racially, culturally, or gender focused. It is intended for anyone who views himself or herself outside of the mainstream when attempting to achieve success. For example many talented women, who find themselves frustrated by limitations of their workplace, start their own businesses. Their success rates often exceed men, playing on an uneven playing field!

To summarize my message, which is closely tied to King’s message:

1) Shift your thinking from victimization to empowerment to create a mind-set that seeks new paths for success.

2) Align your behaviors with your new way of thinking and begin to act as though you are already successful (fake it until you make it!).

3) Expect a test of your commitment to this new way of thinking as a transformation from faking it to making it (a new way of being).

4) When you pass the test, you can never go back to that confined way of thinking and behaving.

5) This mind-set will show up everywhere in your life; from choices of clothing to groceries to housing to ……..ultimately the quality of life you desire!

Visit the Innovations website (above link) to learn about the “Spirituality and the Workplace Retreat” at Snowbird, Utah, May 19-21, 2006. Be there!

Throughout history there have been certain benchmarks that represented a surge in human development. The Stone, Bronze, and Iron Ages, and of course the industrial Revolution are all representative of certain human advancements. I believe it is entirely possible that the beginning of the 21st Century will be viewed as the start of the Spiritual Age.

Spirituality is undergoing a transformation unparalleled in its history. It is evolving at a rate never before seen. And humanity is finally learning that spirit is as integral to who we are as the body and mind. Look around you. What topics are on everyone’s minds and in everyone’s conversations? Politics, war, sports. And spirituality. We are talking, thinking, and studying it in greater numbers and in more diverse ways than we ever have before. And we are able to talk, think and learn about spirituality more comprehensively thanks in large part to the internet and its vast supply of information. We can read the writings of great men and women of faith and vision. We can participate in discussions with people of varying experience and knowledge, and glean from them whatever we are willing to accept. What an opportunity we have been given. It only remains, then, to see what we do with all of this information.

My transformation in spirituality is as varied in its way as the recent transformation of spirituality itself. For the majority of my life spirituality and religion were synonymous. In my paradigm there could be no spirituality without religion and no religion without spirituality. But thanks to some very personal experiences, and thanks to some very loving and spiritual people, I have begun the journey to discovering what spirituality truly means.

I have at last arrived at a point in my life where I am clear that spirituality is love. It is the unconditional and uncompromising giving and receiving of love. And I am also clear that love is the only thing in this life that is of lasting relevance. With love everything is possible. Without love, what else could possibly matter? This quote from the book Conversations with God (book 1), by Neale Donald Walsch, sums up for me the power and wonder of love: “Yea, let all those who have ears to hear, listen. For I tell you this: at the critical juncture in all human relationships, there is only one question: ‘What would love do now?’ No other question is meaningful, no other question has any importance to your soul.”

It has taken me many years to understand this concept of spirituality and love. And sometimes I find myself falling into old patterns and ideas about them. But when I see the results I am creating in my family and in my own life, I am very clear that love is the place I always want to come from. And Spirituality is what I experience when I live in love.